Hygiene
Andre: “I can’t find my toothbrush! I’ve looked everywhere.”
Me: “Maybe one of the boys took it on the weekend.”
Andre: “I have used it since then you bitch! I brush my toothbrush to…teeth…I don’t know, find my fucking toothbrush!”
Me: “It must be at your grilfriend’s. Just go there.”
Andre: “What if it isn’t, and I get there, and I don’t have one?!”
Me: “You realise by now that you have had sex with her? You can use her toothbrush. If she has a mouth disease, you’re gonna get it anyway.”
Rachel: “No, pour hot water on her toothbrush first.”
Andre: “Yeah, I always pour boiling water on her mouth before I use it.”
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Rachel: “Oh no, I accidentally put my ear scratching finger in my eye. It’s all downhill from here.”
(All of Rachel’s fingernails are short except for one. She keeps it long purely to scratch her ears with.)
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Me: “Mick, you want some butter chicken for dinner?”
Mick: “I don’t know, will it make me do filthy shits?”
