i live with crazy people.

Various conversations, Part 2

Me: “Stop fidgeting so much.”

Andre: “I can’t help it. It’s this whole not having weed every day thing. How do you do it? There’s so much time that needs filling. I mean…all those seconds. And you have to….do stuff. All the time.”

                 —-

Me: “Call me when you’re at uni, I’ll probably be there.”

Andre: “Yeah cool, I’ve got Psychology so I’ll see you later.”

(5 hours later, I get home.)

Me: “Did you go to class?”

Andre: “…..Yeah. Class. Yeah, yeah….yeah.”

Me: “By ‘class’, are we meaning laid on the couch, got stoned and watched Entourage?”

Andre: “Yeah….yeah, yeah. Yeah.”

                 —-

Clown: “Fuck that was a weird thing to say. I’m fucking weird.”

Andre: “It’s okay man, if I was a girl, I’d let you fuck me. Twice probably.”

Clown: “Yeah? Awesome.”

Various conversations, Part 1

Clown: “How much is an ounce?”

Andre: “Around 300.”

Clown: “Grams?”

Andre: “Oh…we’re not talking about weed?”

—-

Andre: “Hey Rose, what do you know about poisonous mushrooms? Like, if Clown has this now, how long should I wait before having mine?”

Clown: “Fuck, I’m not the test!”

Andre: “Well, I’ll look it up on the net then…fuck, Clown!”

—-

Both (constantly) : “Don’t tell (insert girlfriend’s name here) about this…”

—-

Andre: “Have some weed!”

Me: “No. In fact, after saying this for five years now, why don’t you just go ahead and memorise it. I don’t want any weed.”

Andre: “That’s okay, I’ll just wait until you’re asleep and breathe it on your face.”

Clown: “I once did that to a girl, actually.”

Me: “Fuck, Clown!”

Clown: “Well, I felt pretty bad about it. But she laughed when she woke up! Though I guess that was bound to happen…”

—-

The tabs on Andre’s Firefox. On a Wednesday afternoon.

The tabs on Andre’s Firefox. On a Wednesday afternoon.